I hate that I'm Like This

I have the memory, intelligence and emotional capacity of a fucking sponge. I am so sorry for everyone who has to, has ever had to and will ever have to deal with me in any way, shape or form.

I also had a breakdown this morning that revealed to me that I'm currently suicidal (again) and have been for a while without noticing (I have the emotional capacity and intelligence of a sponge).

Also this heatwave is gothphobic and I will not stand for it. I will instead lie in a dark room, being miserable, unable to sleep and trying my best to keep my flesh from touching itself, for it.