why is there always one

I'm currently spending regular amounts of time browsing articles about nutrition. Why the fuck is there always at least one person going on and on about how nobody needs to control what they eat and everyone should just ~listen to their body~ because ~the body is wise~ and ~knows what it needs~ and how if we just ate what our bodies told us to eat we'd be perfectly healthy and blablablablabla.

Yeah, no. Fuck you. Here's a incomplete list of things I ate when I was a kid, up to the age of about 9, when I finally gained enough control over my impulse to not:

• My own hair
• Hair from my favourite plush toy
• Dirt
• Small rocks
• Paper
• Bits of eraser I'd cut from my eraser with a ruler during class

SUCH HEALTH VERY WISE WOW

The irony is: I'm looking at nutrition stuff and recipes and things because (1) I'm curious to see if I can spend less on food, (2) I want to eat more protein to get bigger muscles and, most importantly, (3) I would like to not be anemic again.

Ok, I'm going to go eat some loose sheets of paper, apparently that's how one stops having a mineral deficiency.