![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dhampyresa1. Swimming: Today: 900m. (Was aiming for 1k, forgot that the actual swimming part of the swimming pool closes 30mn before the pool part.) Past total: 51 000. Current total: 51 900 / 585 689.
2. I just signed up for Chocolate Box, an experience that was... emotionally fraught. It's Not The Exchange, It's Me. I changed some wording in my letter and now I feel like a huge asshole -- also like my DNWs are completely unreasonable and I am a shit person for even having some in the first place.
3. I'm really fucking down about my art right now. Case in point, I reread True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys over the week-end and instead of being motivated to Get Better TM, I just... sat there in a daze, consumed with envy and despair over Becky Cloonan's inking skills. Fuck, idk. Maybe I should just stop. It's not like anyone would miss my stuff anyway. I try so hard to get better but I stay in place and people much newer to art than me are already miles better and I bet they're laughing at me for even trying -- you can't polish a turd, after all. Not even by drawing everyday.
2. I just signed up for Chocolate Box, an experience that was... emotionally fraught. It's Not The Exchange, It's Me. I changed some wording in my letter and now I feel like a huge asshole -- also like my DNWs are completely unreasonable and I am a shit person for even having some in the first place.
3. I'm really fucking down about my art right now. Case in point, I reread True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys over the week-end and instead of being motivated to Get Better TM, I just... sat there in a daze, consumed with envy and despair over Becky Cloonan's inking skills. Fuck, idk. Maybe I should just stop. It's not like anyone would miss my stuff anyway. I try so hard to get better but I stay in place and people much newer to art than me are already miles better and I bet they're laughing at me for even trying -- you can't polish a turd, after all. Not even by drawing everyday.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-09 02:23 am (UTC)As well as liking the art for itself, I am finding watching people work on things to be very inspiring to actually work myself, and to perhaps even show it to people rather than hiding it away out of embarassment. So there is that also. But truly, I am sorry you are in a bad place and I hope it improves soon.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-09 11:07 pm (UTC)I am finding watching people work on things to be very inspiring to actually work myself
That's an excellent idea! I'll see if I can dig up some art vids.
Thank you for the support.