but not enough

(Entry title from Ilya Kaminsky's We Lived Happily During the War.)

I hate not being able to do anything. I hate it SO MUCH. It's like instead of being one tightly wound spring, I'm a million tuning forks vibrating at ultrahigh frequencies.

I keep feeling guilty about the silliest, most trivial things (seriously, who gives a fuck if most of my very sporadic recent fic output is from owned-by-Disney properties?!) and about making it all about me and being a coward and lazy and not having the skills to DO anything. I don't have any skills. I'm fucking pointless is what I am. The only skill I can sort of be said to have is that I managed to run a fandom exchange almost decently for a few years. Such useful very skill wow

...

Hey, do you think there'd be an interest in a pro-Ukraine/anti-war fannish fundraiser? too little too late?

*pushes up sleeves*

I was watching a documentary about Volodymyr Zelensky, and it referred to him as a "saltimbanque" ("entertainer/comedian (very pejorative)" -- it can also mean someone useless/worthless) and I got Mad, because Art is important, dammit and comedy is Art, dammit.

And apparently that was the push I needed to seriously start brainstorming the pro-Ukraine/anti-war fannish fundraiser I mentioned last post.

Here's what I think I need, please let me konw if I forgot anything:

• One (or more) charity to support (any from https://www.standwithukraine.how/?)


• People bidding


• A way to track bidding


• People offering stuff to bid on


• A way to track offers


• A space to run it


• An email account


• A schedule (one week each for setup/offers/viewing/bidding?)


• Rules?


• A co-mod???


• Places to advertise?????