Tomorrow at dawn

[dhampyresa]

On today's episode of our very irregularly scheduled "dhampyresa translates French poetry" show, the poem in question is one of Victor Hugo's most famous, "Demain, dès l'aube".



Demain, dès l'aube...

Demain, dès l'aube, à l'heure où blanchit la campagne,
Je partirai. Vois-tu, je sais que tu m'attends.
J'irai par la forêt, j'irai par la montagne.
Je ne puis demeurer loin de toi plus longtemps.

Je marcherai les yeux fixés sur mes pensées,
Sans rien voir au dehors, sans entendre aucun bruit,
Seul, inconnu, le dos courbé, les mains croisées,
Triste, et le jour pour moi sera comme la nuit.

Je ne regarderai ni l'or du soir qui tombe,
Ni les voiles au loin descendant vers Harfleur,
Et quand j'arriverai, je mettrai sur ta tombe
Un bouquet de houx vert et de bruyère en fleur.


Tomorrow, at dawn...

Tomorrow, at dawn, at the time when whiten the fields,
I will leave. You are waiting for me, I know, you see,
I will go through the forests, I will go through the hills.
I cannot stay away from you any longer, so help me.

I will walk with eyes fixed on my thoughts, lost,
I will hear no sound, I will see no sight,
Alone, unknown, back bent and hands crossed,
Sad, and the day for me will be like the night.

I will see neither the gold of the ebbing sun
Nor the sails descending from afar on Harfleur
And when I arrive, I will put on your tomb
A wreath of green holly and heather in flower.


OBVIOUSLY I AM NO HUGO but none of the (surprisingly very few) translations I could find online kept the rhyming, so I gave it my best go.

This is a very famous poem by Hugo, not least because I, like all the French people I know, have had to learn it by heart in school. (Also, no one told us what it was about before we read it the first time, so spoiler-cut for y'all it is!)

It was written October 4 1847, but Hugo changed the date to September 3 as that is the eve of the anniversary of the death of his daughter, Léopoldine.

Comments

[isis]

I like the 'Alone, unknown' internal rhyme! And yay you for trying to rhyme; I strongly feel that translation of poetry should maintain its structure!

I only have a vague idea of how to pronounce French, so I'm not clear on the rhyme scheme. It seems to be anapestic tetrameter? I think you could slip the literal meaning in a few places to improve the (very rough in places) scansion in English, though I can't suggest anything quick and easy.

[yhlee]

That's a beautiful poem; merci.

[morbane]

Thank you for that!

Here's a free translation of my own - well, more a translation of your own, since I can only guess at the significance of the sails at Harfleur. Are the 'crossed hands' meant to be those of someone praying?

And many lines I altered mostly for fun rather than for improvement.


Tomorrow, at dawn, when the fields grow light,
I will go. I know, you see, that you await me.
I will go through the forest and over the height.
No more can I abide it, so far from you to be.

I will march with my gaze intent on a thought
Seeing nothing beyond me, comprehending no sound
Alone, unknown, my back bowed, and hands caught,
Joyless; as if not day but night had dawned.

I will not look to see the gold of sunset's fall
Nor the far-travelled sails descend on Harfleur
When I arrive, at your grave I'll let fall
A wreath of holly and of flowering heather.

[hokuton_punch]

Ahh, that is lovely. And sad. ;o;

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

Je crois pas que "at the time when whiten the fields" soit grammaticalement correct. ("at the hour" maybe...)

"I will go through the forests, I will go through the hills.
I cannot stay away from you any longer, so help me.

I will walk with eyes fixed on my thoughts, lost,
I will hear no sound, I will see no sight,
Alone, unknown, back bent and hands crossed,
Sad, and the day for me will be like the night."
niiiice. Ca saisit vraiment le rhythme poignant de l'original

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Lovely poem – and such a twist ending!